When I was trying to get my first business off the ground, I would work really long hours to make sure that everything got done. For several years, I worked 60-70 hour weeks on average—some weeks more. Thank goodness, since the first year of my marriage I have never had a commute longer than 25 minutes (now I live near my office, and have a 5-10 minute commute).

Working a schedule like this places a strain on most of your relationships, particularly if you are young and trying to figure out how to be a good spouse and parent—as I was.  I learned many lessons the hard way, caused a lot of damage, and had to mend a lot of fences. I was tired, I was impatient, I was angry. I bent just about as far as I could without breaking.

For those who are in similar circumstances, I offer a few words of advice.

1. Get your rest. Few people can shortchange themselves on sleep severely and routinely without depriving themselves of the ability to behave normally and make good decisions.
2. Don't kid yourself—introspection, reflection, and spiritual contemplation are important even for the working person doing important things and trying to support a family. Take the time to get perspective and maintain your ability to make good decisions.
3. Exercise is important. For one thing, your time in contemplation will be made easier through improved concentration facilitated by exercise. Even if you don't exercise for any other reason, exercise so you can be more contemplative. Don't always exercise with the radio, iPod, or the TV on. Let your mind wander over the day's problems while you move your body. Sometimes releasing your anger is a way of releasing pent up energy. If you find yourself getting angry, you may need to exercise. No matter how much you feel like sitting in front of the TV and vegetating—don't. Get your tired rear in gear and whip out a walk around the block or a hundred jumping jacks. Make it happen.

It is all too easy to get into vicious work cycles, where you are so tired that you no longer realize when you have reached "the point of diminishing returns". How many times have you worked on something late into the evening for hours, only to solve the problem in 15 minutes the next morning? Rest, exercise and contemplation all bring perspective. Time away brings objectivity.

It can be difficult, when working so hard, to listen to others. When you become defined by your work, it is very difficult to hear someone tell you that you shouldn't be working so hard, or that you need to take more time for contemplation, for family, for exercise. You'll think that they just don't get it. They can't understand why you need to do the things that you do.

And maybe you do have to do those things. Maybe there isn't another way. But that doesn't excuse uncharitable behavior. It doesn't excuse myopia or insularity. It doesn't excuse striking out in anger. You have to figure out a way to make it work, and that includes giving others a chance to lend a hand.

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